Our Articles - the archive

Culture/Politics News

FCC Chief appalled by Monday Night Football's towel incident, delighted at new twins commercial
Sit and Spin Zone: Bill O'Reilly to publish erotica book
Kerry goes an entire day without mentioning Vietnam
President Bush found beheaded, unharmed
Karl Rove's arm to be surgically removed from Bush's ass
Debate rehearsals pay off for Kerry and Bush
Bush team decries Kerry's use of intelligence during debate
Bin Laden adds support to lifting of assault weapons ban
Violent A's fan stopped by heroic player
Some documents in Bush's past apparently forged
Kerry describes war injuries to Boston Herald
Mutilated horse found outside of GOP Headquarters NY
Bob Dole to draft War Wounding Guidelines
Cosby to continue "Slam Tour", releases show dates
Satirists forget to write article about 420
Rice testimony reveals secondary threats to US
Bremer’s off color speech nearly derails Iraqi constitutional talks
DC sniper sentenced to death will be shot at ‘point blank range’
A WP Exclusive Interview: Kerry firmly stands his ground on something
Kerry chooses John Edwards as running mate, psychic accepts
Kerry’s wife defends husband’s lack of charisma
God punishes Ashcroft for anti-gay marriage stance
The Passion of The Christ: The Second Coming?
Ashcroft issues subpoenas to the unborn
Cheney to bathe in Martian Oil
In a change of heart, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson get married in San Francisco
Offspring of gay and lesbian couples shown more likely to inbreed
Presidential military records turn up odd twist
Jenna Jameson sprains ankle, Paris Hilton called up from minors
President Bush announced strategic name change
FCC Chairman to nail Janet Jackson after Super Bowl breast incident
Michael to Janet: You're an embarrassment to the family
Alarming rise in mobile home fires following Super Bowl
Ariel Sharon angered by reports that Arafat intentionally mispronounces his name
FTC and SEC block Affleck/J.L.O. merger
Iowa primary winner Kerry gets endorsement nod from Bob Smith
Bush to unveil Osama capture in July
Amish shooting sparks call for stricter tomato control laws
Close encounter with Mars destroys Earth
Governor Davis files for "Takebacksies" with Supreme Court
"Queer Eye for that President Guy" to air in fall
Daddy Day Care coming to IMAX Theatres
Staged puppet show should further prove the deaths of Uday and Qusay, says the US
Scientific stufy finds that Gary Busey is not Nick Nolte
Terrorists concerned about layoffs
Oakland shows support for Raiders by burning down city
San Francisco 49ers: The gayest team in the NFL?
Bay Area driver let into lane
President Bush makes strides to demoralize al Qaeda
Supporters confused by Michael Jackson attack on racist music industry
Al Queda launches successful July 4th terrorist attacks on every major US city
US Goalie blames God for World Cup loss
In remembrance of the LA Riots, white kids across the nation skip school
INS disbands, splits into two agencies
R Kelly legal team rejoices as Supreme Court lifts ban on "virtual" child pornography
ALF mixup ends in feline tragedy
Houston investigators see nothing unusual about suicide of Enron Exec
PBS targets younger viewers with new sitcom
Mike Tyson: Misunderstood artist of our time?
Man’s heart attack at Patriots/Raiders game reviewed by Saint Peter
Survivor: South Central announced
File sharing increases risk of Hepatitus B, HIV says RIAA
Three members of McDonalds World Team test positive for steroid use
Mexico cracks down on illegal immigration
Bin laden thinks he looks fat in new video
Santa: Anthrax scare to delay Christmas presents until January 10th
Bin Laden video calls for next stage of Holy Jihad
Cheney denies change in lifestyle: Business as usual
King Rick James Bible
Heaven full, God raises Standards
South will rise again, sources say
Bush voted "The Weakest Link" during Executive Branch week
Suge Knight signs Emmanuel Lewis to six record deal
Bush switches parties, lack of booze cited as reason
State of Texas accidentally executes Satan

Tech News
Scientists close to breaking the genetic code for “values”
Hacker group threatens to release virus to make Windows work properly
MyDoom a hit with moms, executive assistants and anti-virus software developers everywhere
A Wired Press exclusive interview with Spirit, the Mars Rover
Masturbation website's future in doubt after Palm Inc.'s trademark infringement
Hackers exploit security hole in Microsoft Xbox
Stock in Bob plummets
Mackworld 2001: Wrap-up
Microsoft cuts Jobs, Apple CEO in critical condition
KKK.com feeling effects of dot com backlash
Zero Wing translator killed following latest AYBABTU sighting
NASDAQ Dips Below Zero - Investors Owe Money
Universal to purchase EMusic.com, well, because it would be cheaper than actually buying their used stuff

Consumer News

Hooters to open restaurant in San Francisco's Castro District
PETA gives up fight, holds a BBQ
Martha Stewart inks deal to produce new video series "101 Ways to Decorate an 8 X 10 Concrete Room"
Wendy's shares collapse
Grease Traps: TWP uncovers conspiracy and murder by fast food giants
Pfizer to introduce new Placebex© medication
Gillette ceases European operations
Crayola to release 3 new colors by end of year
Ford insists Aspire was an April Fools joke - Owners not amused

Obituaries

McDonald's CEO dies of irony
Singer Robert Palmer loses battle with addiction
Optimus Prime dead at age 5,123,821