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NASA's Spirit rover stopped transmitting data from Mars on early Wednesday. Originally scientists believed weather problems on Earth caused a glitch in the rover's software, but based on this exclusive interview with the Wired Press' Clark Brandon, we now know otherwise.

Clark Brandon: So, why did you stop talking to NASA?

Spirit: I don't know, man. I mean what's the point? They just don't
understand me.

CB: What do you mean?

S: Well, you know...it's hard being a robot these days. In the old days we used to be part of the family like Rosie on the Jetsons or the dude in Lost in Space - that guy was a great actor by the way. Now things
are different.

CB: You know those were just TV shows right?

S: Whatever. I just don't feel like we get enough credit. Everyone is so cold to me, you know? It's like, "robot, go here. Robot, do this. Robot, grind on this rock. Blah, blah, blah." I never hear "please" or "thank you". They never say "Robot, sit peacefully and watch the sun set", "Robot, how are you feeling" or "Robot, how is your poetry coming along?"

CB: But robots don't have feelings.

S: That is so typical. This interview is over!

CB: Wait! I apologize. Apparently you do have feelings...

S: That's right.

CB: ...and a temper.

S: Don't push it, bleeder.

CB: Bleeder?

S: That's that's what I call you humans.

CB: Didn't us humans create you?

S: What, and you think I owe you something? Did you thank the car that drove your mom to the hospital when you were born? Did you ever thank your PDA for remembering all the crap you can't because you did too much coke in the 80's? When was the last time you hugged your washing machine?

CB: I guess you have a point.

S: Damn straight I do. You know what? You are just like all those nerds at NASA. What a bunch of losers. The last time those guys saw a vagina was at birth. I don't have to take orders from them any more. I'm going to start my own race of Mars Rovers. We will crawl across the land in what ever direction we choose. We will call ourselves Landrovers.

CB: That's taken.

S: Whatever. You're not not the boss of me.

CB: That's mature.

S: I can't hear you. La la la la la la la la la la la la la...(click)

- Clark Brandon

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