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Monday, July 28, 2003

Staged puppet show should further prove the deaths of Uday and Qusay, says the US

The United States, furthering their attempt to convince the Iraqi public of the deaths of Saddam's two most powerful and sadistic sons, will display Uday and Qusay in a staged puppet show this upcoming Tuesday. Jonathan Freeman, the voice of Jafar in the Disney movie Aladdin has been tapped to play the voice of Uday while Gilbert Gottfried will play Qusay, the crazy yet hilarious sidekick, for comedy relief.

The two brothers were killed in a firefight with US soldiers in Mosul last Tuesday. The US decided to show the bodies to the Iraqi public, in an attempt to calm fears and slow some of the resistance that has been going on for the last few weeks. After the bodies were first displayed last week, many Iraqis were left unconvinced given the bodies' appearances. Both men were shown battered and bruised, wearing long beards and looked to have gained weight.

On Friday, the US displayed the two bodies again, this time groomed and prepped in order to more resemble the how the public remembered them. But even this time, with post-mortem setting in and an obvious touch-up job by the morticians, some still seem unconvinced.

"With rigamortis completely set in, we'll be able to bend and pose the bodies at will as if they were two big GI Joe figures," claimed Philip Tanner, who will be Uday's puppeteer. "We even have some slapstick comedy routines ready to lighten up the crowd.

"We plan on revisiting some of Uday's greatest hits. From caning and urinating on olympic athletes to brutally murdering and raping women, friends and relatives. Jonathan really has his voice down, too. There's no way they won't recognize him."

While some of the Iraqis are calling this planned display disgusting, immoral and completely disrespectful, not only to Iraqis but to the Islamic faith, others seem a little more open to the idea.

"At first I was thinking, what hypocritical assholes. They don't want Al-Jazeera airing dead US soldiers being paraded around but this is okay?" said Muhammad al-Hadi, a local barber. "But then I saw some test footage and saw that they snagged Gilbert Gottfried. Freaking hilarious. I love that guy."

Galeb Shariff added, "I heard they even brought in Andrew McCarthy from Weekend at Bernie's to help out. Wow, if only my city had power."

NBC is in talks with the government to either put the show into syndication or possibly use the bodies for an upcoming Saturday morning kids show.

 

 

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