At the urging of his wife and advisors, President Bush has agreed to appear on a special edition of the popular NBC and Bravo show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". The top rated show takes culturally-challenged straight men and gives their life a complete make-over courtesy of five gay men with various specialties.

The "Fab Five" as they are known will consist of the following Queens of their respective fields:
- Elton John will work on the president's wardrobe.
- Sigfried will handle the interior redecorating of the Oval office.
- Roy will be cutting and styling the President's hair.
- The Kids in the Hall's Scott Thompson will be helping the President with his public speaking by teaching him how to read.
- Ari Fleischer will help the president with his love life.

Laura Bush is hopeful that the Fab Five can help her husband become more sophisticated and sexy. "Once when I was at the opera, and George was sleeping, I overheard these two guys at the opera talking about something called a reach-around. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but it sounds like fun!"

Condoleeza Rice is tired of seeing stale pieces of pretzels and moldy bowls of cereal laying around. She was quoted as saying "I hope they can cure him of walking around in that wife-beater."

- Clark Brandon

 

Kobe Beef Injections - Consent optional