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Monday, March 8, 2004

Kerry's wife defends husband's lack of charisma

-Blix Panda

Addressing concern within the Democratic Party that her candidate husband lacks charisma, Teresa Heinz Kerry today struck back at critics, much to the chagrin of top Kerry advisors.

During a brief speaking engagement with the Democratic Women’s Committee, Heinz-Kerry was asked pointedly if she thought her husband had the “energy or the charm to stand up to the Bush team.” Heinz-Kerry then launched into a discourse that quickly had aides attempting to pull her from the stage.

“Sure my husband can stand up to Bush. He has more than enough charisma and he has the staying power and the thrust to handle Bush,” the usually well-spoken condiment heiress said to muted gasps from the audience.

As startled staffers tried nudging her from the podium, Heinz-Kerry grew quickly offended in an uncharacteristic show of emotion.

“Apparently my husband’s staff seems to be a bit riled up at the moment, but I want to clear something up because, quite frankly, I feel very strongly about this. And if my husband’s staff doesn’t like this position well, I am sorry.”

“Many of you, including some in my husband’s inner circle, think that he is stiff. And you know what I say to that? So what? He is a serious man, and the job of president demands that kind of person. He is a caring father and a tender husband who has always been attentive to my needs. And yet while having a caring, soft side he is also a hard man. He is diligent and focused on the job at hand be. And that job is getting Bush. And, much like Bill Clinton in 1992, I think that he has more than enough charisma and charm to get Bush out of the White House.”

Heinz-Kerry then left the podium to a round of uncomfortable applause. Within hours Republicans were referring to the speech as “sound bite city,” but refused to say whether it would be a factor in the race. The Kerry campaign refused comment.

 

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