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Just another victim of dot com bashing, the official website of the Ku Klux Klan has been forced to lay off 1/3 of its work force. Though officially a non-profit organization, the drop in second quarter revenues and falling stock values was enough to force management to begin streamlining the e-commerce branch of the classic American institution.

They want you!

"People just aren't hating like they used to, " said John Arbuckle, VP Grand Wizard of Sales for KKK.com. Arbuckle pointed to a third party independent study by Jupiter communications that revealed racial intolerance is at a 30 year low - dropping even lower than the previous record low that occurred during the now famous "Summer of Love" of 1969.

Despite the cutbacks, Arbuckle was still hopeful for the future.

"We have a new Yellow Plague ad campaign that we will be rolling out in the fall." The $10 Million dollar Madison Avenue campaign targets people of Asian descent and claims that they eat bugs.

"We think the Asian market is really hot right now."

In response to the Klan's announcement, Asian-American actor and self proclaimed "Hip Nip" Pat Morita pointed out, "Toward the end of World War II, Hitler was actually funding research to prove that their Japanese Axis Allies were of Aryan descent."

Neither Arbuckle nor Hitler could not be reached for comment, but a spokesman did confirm that Hitler had one testicle and suffered from syphilis triggered dementia.

When asked if the uncertain future of KKK.com rests on the success of their new campaign being able to convince Americans not to turn Japanese, Arbuckle was quick to point out that that was not the case at all.

"Not at all. We still hate coloreds, spics, jews, slavs, little black girls carrying bookbags, spotted owls, queers and whales. Subjugating others is a fundamental human trait, remember Junior High School? As long as humans walk the earth, there will be a market for hatred."

Arbuckle added, "We also rely heavily on revenue from merchandise sales. We've come out with three new models of crosses in a joint venture with the Flamelogs corporation:"

The new models are:
· The White Prince ($29.95) "Regal. Elegant."
· The Mr. Wizard ($39.95) "Resourceful yet dangerous"
· The Big Flamer ($49.95) "Burns hot all night long"

When WP asked Mr. Arbuckle about the name and tag line of their top of the line cross, Mr. Arbuckle seemed puzzled, "What about it?"

"We are also unveiling a whole set of products and services for kids. As you know, Hitler was an accomplished painter, so we've come out with the 'Little Tyrant Paint Set'. The brushes are made from real Jew hair. The basic set only comes with one color, Blood Red. The paint is safe, non-toxic and certified with The Klan's seal of purity to ensure that no white people were harmed during testing."

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