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Upstate New York - Two weeks after the SEC began its insider trading investigation, Martha Stewart has found a way to help cover her mounting legal fees with a new video that that shows readers hundreds of ways to turn a concrete cell into a cute New England style concrete cell, using nothing more than a prison shank and a roll of toilet paper.

"It should be a wonderful experience."

"Origami is an ancient Oriental artform that uses paper to create a myriad of delightful forms, " says Stewart as she carefully tears and stacks sheets of rationed toilet paper.

"Hey, bitch, light my ciggy, " says Stewart's Samoan cell mate Antonia.

"Keeping Marlboro Reds on hand for dinner guests is a great way to make them feel welcome," says Stewart.

Stewart still maintains her innocence, claiming information that stock prices were about to drop was common knowledge.

"Please, anyone could have received a call from the CEO the night before."

Furthermore, Stewart claims she issued a verbal order to her broker to sell when her the shares of ImClone reached a certain level.

"I distinctly remember talking to my broker about the stock and then hanging up the phone and muttering the verbal order under my breathe an hour later in the bath when I couldn't remember the words to a Puff Daddy song, " Stewart told the WP.

Stewart then tried to claim that she was framed as part of an elaborate conspiracy.

"It's perfectly obvious what happened. Think about it. ImClone? They obviously created a clone of me that acted on my behalf to frame me. I've been to the CEO's house and seen his green leather couch from Kmart. I should have known right then and there that I couldn't trust him."

- Clark Brandon