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WERNERVILLE, Ohio - Bob Malecki’s value plummeted to $1.23 a share today amid speculation that his 2001 taxes filings will show a decrease in earnings after failing to get a promotion over that new guy ”Ted”.

Bob first went public in 1998, at the height of the Internet stock speculation frenzy. According to the Executive Summary of his 1998 Business plan: “Bob is going to quit smoking weed, leave his alcoholic girlfriend and enroll at ITT Tech to study IT and router technology. He plans on joining the gym next week and getting in shape.”

Investors liked what they heard and before going public Bob enjoyed two successful rounds of A and B funding from his parents and Grandma Malecki of $32.50 and $11.25 respectively.

Bob before the fall

After going public Bob’s stock soared to $127.50 a share and for a short time enjoyed a market capitalization of $2.7 Billion dollars, rivaling both Yahoo and Mercedes. For a time it looked as if Bob, Inc. (NASDAQ: BbI) would survive the dot.com fallout, however at a board meeting in November, Bob showed up late after missing a personal training appointment at a local gym. His eyes were bloodshot and the constant crinkling of twinkie wrappers indicated to board members that Bob might be in trouble.

The next week an unidentified witness reported to the Wall Street Journal that Bob had been spotted talking to his old girlfriend at the Saddle Room bar in downtown Wernerville. The final blow came when Bob was passed over for the Tech Support Lead position in favor of that brown-nosing new guy “Ted”.