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BROOKLYN, Ny -Mackworld 2001 has come and gone, but not without leaving us with many exciting announcements and products which will last up-and-coming pimps, playas and hustlas until next January, when Mackworld 2002 hits Oakland, CA.

The most exciting news to come out of Brooklyn's Grand Prospect Hall was the announcement of Apple's merger with ho-retailer, Suga J. The Pimps and Hustlas market hasn't been Apple's strongpoint in this new millennium, but using Suga J's client list and his insight in the market, Apple is looking to streamline their new ho-commerce division. Suga J is known around the streets as a bad-ass mofo and has made a name for himself with his incredible back-handed bitch slap and his ability to sweet talk any trick who steps in his path. This merger seems as though it will help both Apple and Suga J gain stronger holds in the industry. Apple's CEO, Steve Jobs commented:

"Suga J has always been a name that has represented quality, hard work, and exceptional reliability. We are very happy with this move and know it will only help us in the long run."

Suga added, "I been usin' Apple products fo' years now, I was usin' an Apple IIe befo' I even started pimpin' hoes and clockin' a grip. 10 print 'Suga ', 20 goto 10, run. Sheee-it, deez mofos don't even undastand the power of
OS X in da game. We be pimpin' different beyotch!"

Sugar Daddy

Microsoft announced that Office 10 for OS X will come with an Excel-like program for keeping tabs on your bitches' money and also will help you track where most of the johns are seeking out hoes. The program will create colorful graphs using the information you enter, to help to pinpoint and target the game's hot spots (tracks). Using Window's Plug and Pimp features, any pimp can be up and running in minutes. Microsoft also announced the return of Clippy, who reappears donning a white feathered pimp hat and a tan mink coat, popping up every few minutes to give you Microsoft's new Pimp Hints™.

Mackworld 2002 will be a must for all those who deal ass. We can't help but be excited about what next year will bring. This week we've learned everything from how to use your mouthpiece to outsmart po-po's to the secrets of turning out your sister. The attendees learned mad game from these hustlas. There will be more to absorb next year. Make sure you attend.