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WASHINGTON D.C.- George W. Bush, in the wake of Vermont Sen. James Jeffords leaving the GOP, announced that he, as well, had left his party. In a press conference this morning, a groggy president spoke to the American public from behind a pair of dark sunglasses.

Partying with his constituents

"I have been doing some thinking these past weeks. Jeffords leaving the GOP created such an uproar in the Senate, that I decided the only way to combat the move was to make a move of my own."

The difficult decision was made by Bush while attending a Luau thrown by the Gamma Phi Gamma fraternity at Howard University.

"I felt that the time had come for me to make my switch. Half-Pint had done drank all the damned scotch and Colt 45. Not only that, the hoes were wack."

Bush then proceeded to Georgetown University, where he was shown one helluva good time by the Alpha Beta Chi fraternity.

"Kegs and chicks everywhere, even some blow. I was in heaven!"

This move, right on the heels of his daughter Jenna's second run-in with the law involving alcohol, lead many to question his leadership and role-model status, not only in the US, but also within his family life.

"People have spoken about my inability to earn the vote of the leaders of tomorrow. Some would say that young people today just can't bond with the GOP. Well, after that keg-stand, I think kids around the US finally know how cool I really am."

Others in Bush's party agreed.

"Dude, that guy's got some connections. That was the cleanest shit I've ever had. Not even an ounce of baby laxative. He just made one call and this Columbian guy showed up. No shit." said Strom Thurmund.

"When he showed up in that toga, I thought, who's the weird old dude? He looks so butt. But by the end of the evening we couldn't keep up with him. He's an animal! Woooooohoooo!!!" according to Ogre, Rep. Los Angeles, District 12.

"He's fu*king dope at beer pong, yo." said Sen. Jesse Helms of North Carolina.