the
Wired Press > Archives
Tuesday,
May 1, 2001
Bush
voted "The Weakest Link" during Executive Branch week
George W. Bush,
better known as the leader of the free world, was the first player
voted "The Weakest Link" Monday on an Executive Branch
version of the show.
Dubya casting his vote
|
"We decided to have the most influencial people in American
politics on the show," stated Phil Gurin, one of the show's
executive producers, "how could anyone have ever guessed that
the esteemed leader of
the United States would have been the first to go?"
The Weakest Link is not just another
import from the UK to bombard the American culture. The show is
described as an uproarious laugh riot, a nonstop thrill ride of
wacky hijinx and an innovative cross of Who Wants to be a Millionaire
and Survivor. Contestants answer a series of questions
and vote off who they think is the worst player, hence the clever
title "The Weakest Link."
The title itself is a brilliantly crafted
direct metaphor associating the aforementioned contestant with the
metal link with the lowest structural threshold to withstand force
applied equally in opposite directions, in contrast to the other
links which remain strong and do not break under the same aforementioned
pressure, thereby retaining their integrity.
Players earn money for their team for every
right answer, and lose all of the money when a question is answered
incorrectly. You can only keep money if you have told them to "bank"
it.
Condoleezza Rice, the first runner-up to
the winner, Colin Powell,
told WP that she knows Bush is a very intelligent man, no matter
how he might appear to the general public.
"George
is always tossing in witty remarks when we are in a staff meeting.
Like the other day, when we were discussing possible Taiwanese arms
sales, I know he said something witty
well, hmm
I can't
think of it right now though."
Dubya looked very confident before the first
round, even trading humorous banter with the show's host, Anne Robinson.
The problem was George's inability to answer
all of his questions. Statistically, he was the weakest link, fumbling
on 3 questions.
The questions, according to White House spokesman
Ari Fleischer, were actually pretty tough for first rounders, "at
least for a third grader."
"What does the acronym 'U.S.' stand
for?"
"Who was the 41st president of the United
States of America?"
"What's the big white house where the
President lives called?"
Three questions, three wrong answers. That
was all it took for George to be unanimously voted off the stage.
After the third wrong answer, host Anne Robinson
seemed for once to be at a loss for word after Bush's performance.
All she could manage to say was, "Damn,
you're dumb."
As he strolled the "Walk of Shame",
Bush, who's nickname in college was "Booger",
added his final remarks.
"I thought I really had a chance to
win this thing. I mean, what the hell is an acronym? They're going
to be sorry they voted me off. I promise that."
In unrelated news, Bush fired his entire cabinet staff citing their
lack of expertise in making mixed
drinks as the reason.
|