Wednesday, October
6, 2004
President
Bush found beheaded, unharmed
MOSUL, Iraq - Police have found the decapitated body of President
Bush
in the northern Iraqi city, police and hospital officials said
on
Tuesday. He is apparently unhurt despite being kidnapped several
days ago and flown to Iraq to be beheaded as a strong political
statement to the
US and the world. Unfortunately the stunt backfired when Bush's
headless body got up from the ditch, dusted off his suit and hailed
a cab for
downtown Mosul.
"I have a history of being underestimerated," said
Bush. "I often use it to my advantage."
A surprised medical staffer told reporters, "We examined
the President
thoroughly, but despite his ordeal, no vital organs appear to
have been
damaged."
Bush will be flown back to the U.S. to resume campaign stops
in key swing states. The President will be reunited with his head
one day prior
to the debate after it was found being used in a soccer game at
an al
Qaeda training camp outside Kirkuik.
- Clark Brandon
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