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CHICAGO, Illinois - The South, better known for its "wacky" variety show Hee Haw and its inability to differentiate between kinfolk and suitable breeding partners, will rise once again says a source close to the South.

Rev. Jeb Lee, National Imperial Wizard of the KKK Palooka Chapter, issued a statement Wednesday on the Jerry Springer Show confirming this report.

The Good Ole' Boys

"The revolution is here, as we are gon' rise ag'in. We know we have been saying this since we lost the Civil War (which, by the way, is still under appeal), but this time we really mean it. No, really. And remember, white is right! Black may be beautiful, tan may be grand, but white is still the color of the big boss man!"

The South is said to have come to this belief now more than ever as literacy rates have soared into the teens, the price on pick-ups has stabled, and because of a newly restored orange '69 Charger named "The General."

James Best, better known as Rosco P. Coltrane on the hit show Dukes of Hazzard, said this new sense of Southern pride will help him, Cletus and Flash in their efforts to catch those good ole boys, Bo and Luke.

"We still haven't figger'd out what to do when we rise again," stated Lee from his double-wide trailer home. "Maybe we'll reinstate slavery or just ban coloreds all together, maybe change the national anthem to Dixie's Land, but I do know this, we're plannin' on havin' a heepin' hollerin' good time."