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Friday,
June 15, 2001
State
of Texas accidentally executes Satan
HUNTSVILLE, Texas.- At 12:00
AM Mountain time, just under a week since the execution of Timothy
McVeigh, the state of Texas
mistakenly put the Prince of Darkness to death by lethal injection.
Religious groups throughout the Midwest are outraged and anticipate
loss in revenue in the billions.
The San Francisco based Church
of Satan plans to sue the State of Texas for wrongful death
and has retained Johnnie
Cochran, a long time friend and associate of the Dark One.

The Accuser of the Brethren
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A spokesminion for Mr. Satan
revealed to the press today that Beelzebub, who suffers from chronic
back pain, was caught at the Texas/Mexico border with a tin of medical
marijuana
for which he had no prescription. Satan was only supposed to serve
a short sentence, check himself into an outpatient drug center and
do a public
service spot.
Things went horribly wrong when The Mighty and Mysterious Beautiful
Dark Lord Possessor of My
Soul was then mistaken for the notorious mass murderer "Chuy"
Diego Diaz, nicknamed "El Diablo".
"Chaz",
as he was affectionately known by family and friends, was just 2873
years old when he died and is survived by his dog Bocephus and his
great great nephew Justin
Timberlake.
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