the
Wired Press > Archives
Monday,
April 23, 2001
Zero
Wing translator killed following latest AYBABTU sighting
"All your cookies
are belong to me."
Martha Stewart's attempt at technology humor
yesterday ended abrubtly as one man's life was taken before his
time.
Martha
Stewart, host of Martha Stewart Living on CBS, was ever
so gently showing us how to create stunning artwork using a little
cookie dough and a sprinkle of imagination. Putting the cookies
into the oven, she did as she usually will do. "By the magic
of television," as she often says, she then pulls out the creation,
having been created earlier.
But this time was different.
As she pulled the already-made cookies from
the cabinet beneath her, she showed the cookies to the television
audience and recited a very familiar line among techies and wannabe
hax0rs everywhere.
"All your cookies are belong to me."
The phrase, "All your base are belong
to us", is from Zero Wing, a Genesis Megadrive game released
into Europe, whose intro translation has been circulating as a running
joke among techies via the web. They often use graphic creating
programs to add this line to pictures they find on the internet.
Meanwhile, in Palo Alto, CA, an IT
professional at Beatsoft Imaging (Nasdaq:BEAT) was streaming
his AT&T cable from his house to his computer at work. The line,
which has become the dancing
baby of this decade, enraged Phil Trian enough that using
his superhuman web searching knowledge, found the name of the man
who originally translated this phrase and set out to kill.
All your fly are belong
to me
|
Noriyuki
"Pat" Morita, better known as the humorously stubborn
Mister Miyagi in the critically acclaimed movie The Karate Kid
and also as "the Hip Nip," never knew that his brief stint
in the video game translation field would lead to his untimely death.
Sitting outside of his Spring home in Marin,
CA, tending to his daily routine of pruning bonsai trees and catching
flies with chopsticks,
Pat had no chance against this raging lunatic.
The gruesome details of this murder have
been kept quiet by the police.
"What happen?" cry his wife Yuki
as she was told the news that Mr. Morita had no chance to survive
make his time.
"What you say?" she cry again.
Phil Trian has surrendered to the San Rafael
police department and is awaiting his initial hearing.
|