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the Wired Press > Archives

Monday, April 23, 2001

Zero Wing translator killed following latest AYBABTU sighting

"All your cookies are belong to me."

Martha Stewart's attempt at technology humor yesterday ended abrubtly as one man's life was taken before his time.

Martha Stewart, host of Martha Stewart Living on CBS, was ever so gently showing us how to create stunning artwork using a little cookie dough and a sprinkle of imagination. Putting the cookies into the oven, she did as she usually will do. "By the magic of television," as she often says, she then pulls out the creation, having been created earlier.

But this time was different.

As she pulled the already-made cookies from the cabinet beneath her, she showed the cookies to the television audience and recited a very familiar line among techies and wannabe hax0rs everywhere.

"All your cookies are belong to me."

The phrase, "All your base are belong to us", is from Zero Wing, a Genesis Megadrive game released into Europe, whose intro translation has been circulating as a running joke among techies via the web. They often use graphic creating programs to add this line to pictures they find on the internet.

Meanwhile, in Palo Alto, CA, an IT professional at Beatsoft Imaging (Nasdaq:BEAT) was streaming his AT&T cable from his house to his computer at work. The line, which has become the dancing baby of this decade, enraged Phil Trian enough that using his superhuman web searching knowledge, found the name of the man who originally translated this phrase and set out to kill.

Isn't she a beaut?
All your fly are belong to me

Noriyuki "Pat" Morita, better known as the humorously stubborn Mister Miyagi in the critically acclaimed movie The Karate Kid and also as "the Hip Nip," never knew that his brief stint in the video game translation field would lead to his untimely death.

Sitting outside of his Spring home in Marin, CA, tending to his daily routine of pruning bonsai trees and catching flies with chopsticks, Pat had no chance against this raging lunatic.

The gruesome details of this murder have been kept quiet by the police.

"What happen?" cry his wife Yuki as she was told the news that Mr. Morita had no chance to survive make his time.

"What you say?" she cry again.

Phil Trian has surrendered to the San Rafael police department and is awaiting his initial hearing.



 

Kobe Beef Injections - Consent optional


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