the Wired Press > Archives > Briefs

The United States Postal Service today denied allegations that the contamination of the nation's post offices are just another excuse for slow service.

"I have been waiting for my social security check since last Tuesday. I call these guys up and all they keep saying is Anthrax this, Anthrax that," said Marsha Williams of Richmond, CA. "If I remember right, the Postal Service has always been inefficient."

Roy Betts, a spokesman for the USPS, says that Anthrax related problems and the upcoming holiday season are bound to create a slowdown in the postal service, but they are doing everything they can to help keep the public's confidence level high.

"I've been waiting for my Playboy to arrive in the mail," said Wally Turner of San Francisco. "Three months ago the same thing happened and they blamed it on the economy. Now Anthrax. Looks to me as though they just need a scapegoat. Man, if my pages come stuck together..."

Betts assured the WP that they will soon be running at full "snail mail" speed again.