Washington D.C. – In the wake of the State Departments third terrorism warning, Secretary of State, Donald Rumsfeld, told the press “I know something you don’t know.”

Rumsfeld refused to elaborate, but did say it was of utmost urgency and that it was neither an animal, vegetable or mineral. He then gave the press twenty chances to guess what it was.

A crowd of puzzled reporters from the most reputable publications in the country tried in vain to guess the actual topic of the press conference. When asked if it involved the location of bin Laden’s secret hideout, Rumsfeld replied quickly “ice-cold!”

When asked if the secret involved something that endangered the American public Rumsfeld replied “getting warmer”.

Finally on the twentieth question Joel Segal from Good Morning America asked ”Does this pertain to a major terrorist act about to be perpetrated on the unsuspecting American public?” to which Rumsfeld replied “red hot!” at which point he looked at his watched, mumbled something about the time and darted out of the conference room.

- Clark Brandon

 

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