Scientists yesterday released results of a study on increasing penis enlargement. According to the results of the study, Americans have tried everything from herbal supplements to penis pumps in order to increase the length and width of their joysticks. The study even found that 10% of those trying to gain inches to their lightning rod used a 10 pound weight attached to string.

The results are stated very clearly. In order to increase penis size, scientists state that most men simply need to get off of their fat asses and exerise. Getting rid of the lumpy area under your belt will give you another 2-3 inches that your gut has consumed, the study says.

Scientists confirmed their findings by stating that Jared, the man who lost 245 pounds while eating Subway, has once again found his once MIA penis. He has recently been seen trying to convince fat women that "it tastes like honey and only has 24 calories." Other sources have confirmed that the name for his pogo stick is "My little number 3 on white."

- the other guy

 

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