President George Bush told reporters today in the Rose Garden that he was confident that many countries remain that we have not yet offended. "Look at Botswana and New Caledonia. They don't hate us yet." Added Bush, "It's not over, we still have a lot of hard work ahead of us."

The DOD, NSA and CIA have been working round the clock to try to find any remaining countries that have yet to pledge their everlasting hatred for the United States and it's people. According to a CIA spokesman, "We have been isolating what things each country holds in the highest regard, so that we can systematically and publicly pledge to destroy each one. Our top priority are countries with nuclear and or chemical or biological weapons of mass destruction like Iraq, Iran or South Korea. The more we can threaten them and make them feel like they have no other option, but to retaliate, the more effective we will be."

In an unrelated incident, a hard-of-hearing elderly man in Wisconsin threw away a Korean-made axe he had purchased from Ace Hardware in 1995. "It's evil," he told his wife.

 

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