Wednesday, May 8, 2001

Study finds today's athletes able to give 120%

Seacacus, New York - A postgame survey of athletes from professional
football, baseball and basketball found that most felt confident that they
gave 120%. This figure is 10% higher than this same time last year, when
most athletes where only able to give 110%

When asked how many nickels were in a dollar, 55% of athletes replied
"twenty-four", while 25% said "twenty-two" and 30% thanked the Lord and
savior Jesus Christ for blessing them with the talent to be a professional
athlete.

When asked about the fiscal structure of their contracts 100% of athletes
were able to recite terms, payments schedules, contract stipulation and
performance bonuses verbatim.

 

Kobe Beef Injections - Consent optional