Fort Lauderdale, FL - Angry seniors have joined forces with the AARP to launch a lawsuit against the Tooth Fairy to end the age discrimination that they argue deprives them of millions in desperately needed income every year.

"Just think about it. Who needs the money more? Little brats that mooch off their parents or mature Americans on fixed incomes? Some of these people are tired of eating cat chow and demand the compensation that they have earned through years of poor dental hygiene, " lawyer Harry Cheatem told the press on Monday.

"I still have all my teeth..." Opal Marbury proudly told told the WP, "...in a jar on the mantle over there. I'll show you. Move over kitty cats, momma's coming through. Hey where are you guys going?"

The Tooth Fairy was unavailable for comment, however the Easter Bunny added his view, "I'm sick of all those little brats getting the breaks, " he said stabbing out a clove in an ashtray. "Teeth is teeth, man. I don't give a f%#ck how old you are."

Thousands of angry seniors congregated on Tuesday for a march on the capitol. Protesters chanted "Mmmmmmppptttt, tthhhppptttt, mmmmummuuum! Mmmmmmppptttt, tthhhppptttt, mmmmummuuum!"

 

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