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Friday, October 1,
2004 There's nothing more annoying than going to the store only to find that there aren't any shopping carts to use. If you're lucky, you might find one on the other side of the parking lot and then you have to walk all the way over there to get it. How lame! Of course, right before I get on the freeway onramp, I always see some homeless person with like two or three of them tied together. I can't believe how selfish these people are. Besides, it would be way easier for them to throw their groceries in their car. I mean how many groceries do you need if you don't even have a refrigerator? If these people are that stupid and insensitive, it's no wonder no one wants to sell them a house. I guess I am pretty much tired of being inconvenienced at the expense of these selfish people. Last week I decided to do something about. I was watching a special on Martin Luther King and how he recognized a problem in society and decided to take action to correct it and I was inspired. I rented a van and drove around in the middle of the night looking for these shopping carts. Luckily most of the thieves were sleeping and I was able to slowly wheel the cart away, dump the stuff out, throw it in the back of the van and I was gone before their stupid little three legged dog with a scarf could chase after me. The next day I saw one of the guys washing peoples windows, so I turned out the little spray nozzle that squirts window cleaner onto the windshield so that when he came up to wash my window at the gas station I hit the button and got him right in the eye. Then I said "wash that, bitch!" and I revved the engine and did a big burnout in my Tahoe. Shopping carts are a privilege and not a right. I encourage anyone reading this to take a stand like I have and show these inconsiderate assholes that we mean business!
- Clark Brandon
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