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The Shire – Paula Pounstone’s recent trouble with the law has taken a
bizarre and unsettling turn. After a month of sorting through the comedian’s extensive pornography collection, investigators have come across a disturbing series of home-made hobbit porn. The hobbits were adopted by Poundstone after being obtained illegally from the Middle Earth black market. Their names are not being released because they are less than 50 years old and still considered minors.

Reaction in Hollywood is varied, but the majority are overwhelmingly disgusted with Poundstone’s dirty deeds.

Woody Allen told The Wired Press, “I find it just disgusting. Those hobbits trusted her as their adopted parent. She took advantage of their trust.”

“I think it’s sad when an established older person takes advantage of a vulnerable and maybe star-struck youngster, “ said Robe Lowe. “The fact that it was video taped makes it even more appalling.”

“I will turn her into a pig!” proclaimed actor Ian McKellan, who played Gandalf in the The Lord of the Rings.

-Clark Brandon